Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
