even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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