Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Come share oat with me in your robe
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
