the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
