? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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