I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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