that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
