Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
