You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
