The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Two words: blizzard sex
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
