shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
