I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
