Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
please come you make the beer taste better
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
