Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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