So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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