yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize