So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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