Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
