we're blogging at a bar
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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