sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
