i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
