She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
