Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize