I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
