Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
