oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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