I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
