is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
