id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
