Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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