i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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