She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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