we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
