mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
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