You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
