She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
