There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
