We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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