If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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