Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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