Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
