how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
