Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
