new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
