And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
