It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She's just so happy...and so naked.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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