Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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