they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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