Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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