Quick, to the slutcave!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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