Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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