Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
