were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
