i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
