walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
