White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He felt like a one man threesome
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
