Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
