I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
