Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize