They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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