So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
