I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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