Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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